You’ve surely come across a post on social media that goes something like this: “We never wore a helmet while riding a bike. We played before school, then again after school until dusk, and we rarely watched television. We played with real friends, not virtual ones. When we were thirsty, we’d drink water from the tap, or water from a hose, not bottled water. We never worried even when we shared the same glass of juice with four friends. We never got fat eating a whole pot of pasta every day…”
Is every generation prone to idealising its childhood and the way it was brought up, or has the time come when the new generations have become aware of their parents’ mistakes in their approach to upbringing? Does every generation try to make moves that are the complete opposite of their parents’? Do you come into conflict with your parents over the upbringing of your children, their grandchildren?
Boomers, Gen X, millennials and the rest…
Compared with their parents from the generation of the so-called boomers (“baby boomers”, born between 1946 and 1964), millennials and Generation X show markedly different approaches to parenting.
While boomers most often used traditional, authoritarian methods and gave priority to stability, discipline and work, Generation X (born between 1965 and 1980) turned towards greater support and involvement in their children’s lives.
Millennials, born between 1981 and 1996, are thought to have a tendency towards more open, more positive parenting, with a greater emphasis on emotional intelligence, a healthy work-life balance, and engagement with technological trends.
Although it’s still too early to say what the results of the upbringing practised by young parents, members of the Gen Z era, will be, it’s noticeable that they put their children’s mental health and wellbeing in focus.
Every generation carries with it unique values, beliefs and lifestyles that are passed on to parenting too. The influence of the generation we belong to on the way we bring up our children is undeniable, and the differences between generations can significantly shape parenting style and, consequently, a child’s development.
At the playground or at a birthday party you’ve probably noticed different parenting styles that are often linked to the generation the parents belong to. Some parents watch their children non-stop and hover around them like “helicopters”, constantly supervising and directing them. On the other hand, some other parents may seem as if they’re paying no attention to their children at all, but are chatting among themselves or looking at their phones, leaving the children to their activities. Can that be put down to a parenting style that is generationally conditioned?
Boomers: a firm hand and the “old school”
Differences between generations often lead to disagreements in the approach to parenting. Older parents from the boomer generation can seem too relaxed or old-fashioned in the eyes of millennials and members of Generation X. The way they brought up their children seems to us, from today’s perspective, like “toughening up”, and even neglect.
Conversely, boomers often see millennials as parents who behave too protectively and tend to spoil their children, or consider them too focused on technology.
Gen X: On the seesaw between involvement and excessive supervision
Members of Generation X spent a lot of time at home alone while their parents were working. Growing up with less supervision and support, Gen X parents were the first to begin moving away from the authoritarian style, preferring a more involved approach to parenting. However, their tendency towards overprotectiveness of their children can have a negative effect on the development of independence and emotional resilience in children.
The so-called “helicopter parenting” to which this generation of parents is prone is a parenting style characterised by excessive control and supervision of the child, often to the extent that parents do tasks instead of the child. Experts warn that this approach can lead to a lack of independence and self-confidence in children, so it’s important to encourage them to face challenges and solve problems on their own.
Millennials: between career, parenting and social media
Millennials, currently aged between 30 and 40, approach parenting in a completely different way compared with previous generations. Research shows that millennials take on the role of parent with the same level of planning and professionalism as when making important career decisions. What’s more, millennials often express a fear of repeating their parents’ mistakes in bringing up their children, striving to adopt a different and more inclusive approach to parenting. This generation of parents is committed to correcting the mistakes of past generations, which has led to a shift in parenting approach from “do it like I did” to “fix what we did”.
Besides that, millennials face the influence of social media, feeling the pressure to keep up with their peers, while at the same time recognising the importance of quality time spent with their children. Millennial parents are increasingly rejecting traditional career paths, believing that formal education is not the only key to future success. What’s more, more than half of millennials believe that classic schooling does not prepare children for the challenges of the future, so they are turning to alternative methods of passing on knowledge and skills to their little ones.
Gen Z: Supportive parents present in their children’s lives
Young parents who belong to Generation Z often show openness to new technologies and the digital world, while at the same time striving to give their children support, attention and emotional closeness.
For now it seems that Gen Z will be much more open-minded when it comes to the decisions their children make – they’ll be more flexible when it comes to the choice of career, partner, place to live and the food their children eat.
There’s no perfect recipe for parenting. All we can do is learn from one another and take the best from each generational perspective. By understanding and respecting different parenting styles, we can create a richer and more balanced approach to bringing up children. Whichever generation we belong to, we should be open to working on equipping children to adopt key values and strengthen their character, while spending quality time with them.
By combining values that never “go out of fashion” with contemporary approaches to parenting, we’ll be able to give our children the best of both worlds, providing them with the love, support and freedom they need for their healthy development and happiness.
References:
- Beano Brain white paper, “Raising Gen Alpha: How Millennial Parenting is Impacting the Next Generation”
- Brianne Hogan, “What Your Generation Says About Your Parenting Style”, Updated February 4, 2024
- Research: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7602436/
